Tuesday, May 18, 2010
standing on my own two feet.
i feel like i lost all my interests. i don't even know what they are anymore...social justice and consciousness...when was the last time you heard me talking about that? when was the last time i went to see a concert that wasn't my friend's band? even dancing, i never dance anymore. i'm not depressed...just uncertain what i want to do with my time. i'm not sure what to pursue. art projects? building up a bicycle? starting a brunch place? guitar? i need something. i feel like im living the bare minimum here...work and play. any suggestions out there? i feel stifled by time... any way i could add about 3 extra hours to each day would be great.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
just not a blogger.
though i'd like to be. i haven't blogged since january.
as for life i suppose, thank god i am no longer 23. apparently i'm falling into 24 quite nicely. new job, new scooter, trip back to mi in a few weeks, working things out after recent relationship collapse.
i spent the day yesterday working, then picking up my new scoot with meesh and dan. we stopped at the cantina for dinner and the pope for dessert. meesh on her scooter, dan on his motorcycle we proceeded back to fishtown. riding with the wind in our hair and motors between our legs. it was great. then meesh and i met up with ryan for a mini-ride, hung out at his house, and ended up taking a quick stroll down through northern liberties and back up to our house.
ill probably ride my scooter to work tomorrow for the first time. ryan worries i will die, but only because he cares i guess.
as for my birthday weekend, im fairly certain i love all my friends who showed up, who've stuck by me through probably my worst year in life. so thank you for celebrating that with me. it was harder to get there than you think. i was happy to see some new friends there as well. fire pit, dancing with sparklers to good music, party boat and matching cake, i loved it.
the next morning, meesh, ryan, amanda and i went out to brunch at the mercer cafe. it was cute of course. ryan and i took a detour afterward to birthday present land, then i registered my scooter. dan met me and him, meesh, and i headed to shadfest to walk around. i laid in the grass while meesh taught dan to do cartwheels. then we jumped bikes and headed to franklin square for ice cream, then olde city for sushi and window shopping, and eventually ended up getting ice cream again (ice cream twice!!!) after all that, meesh and i headed home and dressed up in our finest 1920s outfits for the murder mystery at sue and marilyn's house. donna wannabe was my name. al capone was there too and sly sleaze. it was a very fun night, ending with me being the super sleuth who figured out who the killer was (i have the certificate to prove it!). However, i was absolutely exhausted from the night before, making it quite difficult to play along as the movie star hussy i was born to be. ha.
sunday, i spent cleaning the house, then having coffee with dan, meesh, and ryan as we brain stormed possible bruncherie names for meesh and i's future restaurant...brunchwitz, jaburnchskis, the muffin trough, ballards, meesh's keeshes-quishes-quiches. then ryan, meesh, and i headed to a double feature (date night and kick-ass)...divided by a 20 minute stop at a pizza shop blasting television at our faces. after the movie we headed home and meesh and i probably bugged each other.
oh! and monday, i worked all day, then meesh decided to be super hyper then ditch out on hanging out with torsten and me at the el bar, which was fine because i do have to say that torsten and i ended up having some really great conversations despite it.
and to round off the post, i spent today working, with stacy, emily, and meesh being close by to have lunch with. and then tutoring nasariyah for a few hours and then having the ol' cell group at our house.
leaving me to now, ready for bed. id like to keep better notes of my days...so maybe i will because a blogger, we'll see. as for now, at least i've got some documentation of such a great weekend. thanks again to all of those who made it to my birthday celebration.
<3
as for life i suppose, thank god i am no longer 23. apparently i'm falling into 24 quite nicely. new job, new scooter, trip back to mi in a few weeks, working things out after recent relationship collapse.
i spent the day yesterday working, then picking up my new scoot with meesh and dan. we stopped at the cantina for dinner and the pope for dessert. meesh on her scooter, dan on his motorcycle we proceeded back to fishtown. riding with the wind in our hair and motors between our legs. it was great. then meesh and i met up with ryan for a mini-ride, hung out at his house, and ended up taking a quick stroll down through northern liberties and back up to our house.
ill probably ride my scooter to work tomorrow for the first time. ryan worries i will die, but only because he cares i guess.
as for my birthday weekend, im fairly certain i love all my friends who showed up, who've stuck by me through probably my worst year in life. so thank you for celebrating that with me. it was harder to get there than you think. i was happy to see some new friends there as well. fire pit, dancing with sparklers to good music, party boat and matching cake, i loved it.
the next morning, meesh, ryan, amanda and i went out to brunch at the mercer cafe. it was cute of course. ryan and i took a detour afterward to birthday present land, then i registered my scooter. dan met me and him, meesh, and i headed to shadfest to walk around. i laid in the grass while meesh taught dan to do cartwheels. then we jumped bikes and headed to franklin square for ice cream, then olde city for sushi and window shopping, and eventually ended up getting ice cream again (ice cream twice!!!) after all that, meesh and i headed home and dressed up in our finest 1920s outfits for the murder mystery at sue and marilyn's house. donna wannabe was my name. al capone was there too and sly sleaze. it was a very fun night, ending with me being the super sleuth who figured out who the killer was (i have the certificate to prove it!). However, i was absolutely exhausted from the night before, making it quite difficult to play along as the movie star hussy i was born to be. ha.
sunday, i spent cleaning the house, then having coffee with dan, meesh, and ryan as we brain stormed possible bruncherie names for meesh and i's future restaurant...brunchwitz, jaburnchskis, the muffin trough, ballards, meesh's keeshes-quishes-quiches. then ryan, meesh, and i headed to a double feature (date night and kick-ass)...divided by a 20 minute stop at a pizza shop blasting television at our faces. after the movie we headed home and meesh and i probably bugged each other.
oh! and monday, i worked all day, then meesh decided to be super hyper then ditch out on hanging out with torsten and me at the el bar, which was fine because i do have to say that torsten and i ended up having some really great conversations despite it.
and to round off the post, i spent today working, with stacy, emily, and meesh being close by to have lunch with. and then tutoring nasariyah for a few hours and then having the ol' cell group at our house.
leaving me to now, ready for bed. id like to keep better notes of my days...so maybe i will because a blogger, we'll see. as for now, at least i've got some documentation of such a great weekend. thanks again to all of those who made it to my birthday celebration.
<3
Sunday, January 31, 2010
doubts and relief.
My concerns from 2009 are so much different than 2010.
I'm learning to stand up stronger. I'm learning to have more confidence in myself and in others. I've been let down so few times, why do I feel so vulnerable around the ones I love.
Bed.
Jenna
I'm learning to stand up stronger. I'm learning to have more confidence in myself and in others. I've been let down so few times, why do I feel so vulnerable around the ones I love.
Bed.
Jenna
Friday, January 22, 2010
PTSG
My life has been a whirlwind since June 2009. It has been turned upside down, broken apart, re-evaluated and shabbily put back together. I'm trying to reassemble the person I was while also modifying it with some sort of greater lesson learned. I am not the same as I was before, nor do I want to be. I finally allowed myself to fall apart, to lose control, and feel defeated. From the start I resolved that this wouldn't be the end of me, that I would prevail one day...take this awful hand and make the best out of it. Even if this is happening slowly, I hope that it is happening, even more than wishing to go back into time and erase this all into existence. In a weird way, I can find ways to be grateful.
June was so different than August, August was so different than November, and November is so much different than January...and I didn't even see any of it coming.
I wish I would have kept better notes of all the things that have happened. Feels a little late and now I just have to write vague descriptions to capture the memories. Maybe I'll get back to it.
I definitely want to start with lately though.
2010.
I started it off with exactly the people who stood by me in 2009 when I needed them most. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, and Ashley. All present for an early dinner to say goodbye to the past-year. Others were there - Phil and Brian. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, Phil and I continued our night together by headed to the Ox for dancing and more ridiculousness. Meesh and Amanda close to my side, we danced, bumped into Dan and a few other friends. A few text here and there were exchanged with Danny...he had plans to meet up with me around midnight or so. About 20 minutes to midnight, he informed me that he's at the doorway. I shuffle to him, and he informs me that we will not be kissing until midnight. I hadn't wanted to kiss anyone that badly since highschool. We dance some, I introduce him to several of my friends. Midnight slowly creeps in, I look around to see such amazing people all around me, and feel even more enticed to kiss this sweet man who seems to care where I am on New Years. I'm not used to that.
We head home, all of us, drunkenly stumbling into the house, apparently laughing harder than ever. After a few crazy stories and memories made.
Highlights of January:
Date with Danny at Modo Mio
Daybreakers
Avatar
Northbowl Work Party
Start Americorp
Chapter House Gallery Opening
Pizza Party
Silk City w/Meesh
Studio Party/Camp Fire
Danny's friend's birthday party - photobooth
Karaoke/El Bar with Meesh
Sushi/Blue Martini/Sasafras
Melissa's Birthday at Kung fu Necktie/Sleepover at Danny's/PTSG Breakfast
Show at KFN (Brian Dwyer)/Danny's house/Que Chula
Burrito Night/Ryan rides on my shoulders/Watch Dancing with Wolves/Danny comes over
Wake up have Brunch with Meesh and Ryan/Say goodbye to Danny for Barcelona
Interviews at UPENN
Game Night/Lock In
All to hopefully be given proper explanation later on.
June was so different than August, August was so different than November, and November is so much different than January...and I didn't even see any of it coming.
I wish I would have kept better notes of all the things that have happened. Feels a little late and now I just have to write vague descriptions to capture the memories. Maybe I'll get back to it.
I definitely want to start with lately though.
2010.
I started it off with exactly the people who stood by me in 2009 when I needed them most. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, and Ashley. All present for an early dinner to say goodbye to the past-year. Others were there - Phil and Brian. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, Phil and I continued our night together by headed to the Ox for dancing and more ridiculousness. Meesh and Amanda close to my side, we danced, bumped into Dan and a few other friends. A few text here and there were exchanged with Danny...he had plans to meet up with me around midnight or so. About 20 minutes to midnight, he informed me that he's at the doorway. I shuffle to him, and he informs me that we will not be kissing until midnight. I hadn't wanted to kiss anyone that badly since highschool. We dance some, I introduce him to several of my friends. Midnight slowly creeps in, I look around to see such amazing people all around me, and feel even more enticed to kiss this sweet man who seems to care where I am on New Years. I'm not used to that.
We head home, all of us, drunkenly stumbling into the house, apparently laughing harder than ever. After a few crazy stories and memories made.
Highlights of January:
Date with Danny at Modo Mio
Daybreakers
Avatar
Northbowl Work Party
Start Americorp
Chapter House Gallery Opening
Pizza Party
Silk City w/Meesh
Studio Party/Camp Fire
Danny's friend's birthday party - photobooth
Karaoke/El Bar with Meesh
Sushi/Blue Martini/Sasafras
Melissa's Birthday at Kung fu Necktie/Sleepover at Danny's/PTSG Breakfast
Show at KFN (Brian Dwyer)/Danny's house/Que Chula
Burrito Night/Ryan rides on my shoulders/Watch Dancing with Wolves/Danny comes over
Wake up have Brunch with Meesh and Ryan/Say goodbye to Danny for Barcelona
Interviews at UPENN
Game Night/Lock In
All to hopefully be given proper explanation later on.
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