PTSG

My life has been a whirlwind since June 2009. It has been turned upside down, broken apart, re-evaluated and shabbily put back together. I'm trying to reassemble the person I was while also modifying it with some sort of greater lesson learned. I am not the same as I was before, nor do I want to be. I finally allowed myself to fall apart, to lose control, and feel defeated. From the start I resolved that this wouldn't be the end of me, that I would prevail one day...take this awful hand and make the best out of it. Even if this is happening slowly, I hope that it is happening, even more than wishing to go back into time and erase this all into existence. In a weird way, I can find ways to be grateful.

June was so different than August, August was so different than November, and November is so much different than January...and I didn't even see any of it coming.

I wish I would have kept better notes of all the things that have happened. Feels a little late and now I just have to write vague descriptions to capture the memories. Maybe I'll get back to it.

I definitely want to start with lately though.

2010.
I started it off with exactly the people who stood by me in 2009 when I needed them most. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, and Ashley. All present for an early dinner to say goodbye to the past-year. Others were there - Phil and Brian. Meesh, Amanda, Ryan, Phil and I continued our night together by headed to the Ox for dancing and more ridiculousness. Meesh and Amanda close to my side, we danced, bumped into Dan and a few other friends. A few text here and there were exchanged with Danny...he had plans to meet up with me around midnight or so. About 20 minutes to midnight, he informed me that he's at the doorway. I shuffle to him, and he informs me that we will not be kissing until midnight. I hadn't wanted to kiss anyone that badly since highschool. We dance some, I introduce him to several of my friends. Midnight slowly creeps in, I look around to see such amazing people all around me, and feel even more enticed to kiss this sweet man who seems to care where I am on New Years. I'm not used to that.

We head home, all of us, drunkenly stumbling into the house, apparently laughing harder than ever. After a few crazy stories and memories made.

Highlights of January:
Date with Danny at Modo Mio
Daybreakers
Avatar
Northbowl Work Party
Start Americorp
Chapter House Gallery Opening
Pizza Party
Silk City w/Meesh
Studio Party/Camp Fire
Danny's friend's birthday party - photobooth
Karaoke/El Bar with Meesh
Sushi/Blue Martini/Sasafras
Melissa's Birthday at Kung fu Necktie/Sleepover at Danny's/PTSG Breakfast
Show at KFN (Brian Dwyer)/Danny's house/Que Chula
Burrito Night/Ryan rides on my shoulders/Watch Dancing with Wolves/Danny comes over
Wake up have Brunch with Meesh and Ryan/Say goodbye to Danny for Barcelona
Interviews at UPENN
Game Night/Lock In

All to hopefully be given proper explanation later on.